Changes

This week is a difficult week on all fronts, we have had to close my husbands business down as you can imagine after ten years this is hard....I will be back to blog soon x

Weekends how they should be

How excited am I, look what we woke up to this morning.....

I love reading your posts about the snow you've all had. We just don't seem to get it in this part of England or if we do it's a feeble attempt just resembling something like a dusting of icing sugar but done very badly! Can you inamgine my excitement when I saw the view out of my bedroom window. Do you know I'd prayed last night for a bit of snow...I saw the weather forcast and as usual thought it would miss us here so I said a few words before I went to sleep and what do you know!

Ok well it's not a full blown snow blizzard and sadly it has nearly all gone now, but the kids had a great time building a very mini snowman before school....and it made Mummy very happy too!

I've had a really lovely weekend....although everything looks a little bare now, that's the downside of taking the decs down. I'm more of a homely kind of person and never really venture unless I have to, so I even shocked myself this weekend. Maybe this will be a new direction for this year. I didn't have the kids Saturday morning, they were in the lovely care of nannies nursery....better known as my Mum x. So I decided to take myself on a venture with the help of the sat nav. When I say I stay at home, I mean it....unless it's a to b or I really need to go then I stay at home. But I bit the bullet and went off on my travels and arrived unscathed here...

http://www.over-farm-market.com/index.asp?page=produce

a lovely little farm shop that sells a host of goodies. It certainly was fresh too, I looked like I'd spent a few hours picking veg in the field by the the time I got home, my hands were rotten! Well worth the trip and I was rather pleased with myself too!

There were a few other firsts that happend around here at the weekend too....my little man, well he's nine now but he's still my baby. He decided that he wanted to make the lunch and then wash up! No bribes, nothing ummmm....not sure this will last for long!

Can you imagine how embarrassed I was when the neighbours came out to the car to see Luke at the sink, me standing over him giving clear directions....well it has to be done right!

On Sunday I took the kids into town, something we never do....I'm so lazy, I do it all over the internet but I thought for a change it'd be nice to have a wander around. Plus Luke needed new school shoes...he's 1.5 now, not long and he'll be the same size as me! I found a fantastic item in Laura Ashley.... I was inspired by Country Living and there it was the perfect display cabinet. I'll explain more when I have time and can take a photo. I have no batteries and the camera is flat as a pancake.

The time is plodding on so I had better get myself off to bed. This is my last weeks holiday but I am on training courses as I have decided to do some 'bank' work at the hospital. I get paid to work as a health care assitant as and when I can fit some shifts in. Things aren't looking good on the home front but that's another story and very depressing. I know it has to be faced but for now head in sand is good and a night of sleep is in need.

Special skills

Whenever I look around people's blogs I am inspired and in awe of all the beautiful crafts I see. There are so many people out there who have such amazing skills, be it crafting, cooking or home making....there are so many talented people in blog land!

I've often wanted to shout a bit more about what I do, my craft as I call it. I have to be careful though as my journey is so much more someones elses' journey....I'm just so privileged that I am able to share it with such amazing families. I would love to share more but I am governed by professional rules of conduct which is understandable....I am involved in many amazing situations but they are not wholley my stories to share. I would love to shout about them from the rooftops, but I am only a little part of the whole picture, they are my stories but so much more belong to someone else.

My tools...along with my ears, eyes, heart and intuition.

Often when I first meet people they are scared of the unknown, frightened of the strange environment, and wary of me. Their lives are about to change and a new journey is about to start, sometimes they are in immense pain, crying, in panic. Just a look , a smile, a tender touch often relaxes them.

Sometimes these connections start in the dead of the night, sometimes early in the morning, they can be really quick or they can last all day and night....sometimes more. Some people like calm soothing words, others want to chat about everything and anything, some want to be touched or massaged others don't like to be exposed and want privacy. Everyone's needs and wants are different. Sometimes I just sit there quietly observing in the middle of the night, between 2 and 5am is the hardest, when all is still, the room is dark except for a little light so I can write my notes. Watching someone resting, watching their body language, not saying a word for hours just observing their body going through an amazing change.

my youngest treasure, a couple of years ago

The most exciting part is when the women's language starts to change....it's normally 'I can't do this', 'I've had enough', 'I want to go home', ....or sometimes worse!!! I'll let you decide the best swear words to go there. The most common is 'get me an epdiural now'....I did that with my second child!

This exciting moment tells me that the woman has reached transition....the moment just before her body gets ready to birth her baby. Once I have put her at ease and helped her to get through this distressing part....often calm and a strong determination set in. The support and love between a couple or birthing partner is inspiring during this time. I am on the side lines offering gentle support as and when. I am so honoured to be involved in such a wonderful moment.

The most wonderful experience is when I see a glisten of hair, sometimes it slides back and forth coming round the birth canal but once it is just there then I know we are about to have a birthday! Team effort really comes into its own here....sometimes it's hands off, where the miracle of birth is just watched, other times it's gentle guidance. The last thing we want is to see a mother tear down there....sometimes it's nature, a tear is better than a cut but if we can help it a few scratches is the best. I gently encourage mum to breath or blow, so that the head emerges slowly. I then wait to see what way the baby's head rotates to....sometimes they appear star gazing just looking up to the sky, amazing. If the baby is awake and alert it is fascinating seeing them half in our world, half inside, big bright eyes just looking at me! I help guide the baby's head out very gently , if I am hands on.... I cup my hands around the baby's ears and chin and help them make their entrance into the world by gentle traction.

I then have that moment....it's just a moment, waiting for the baby to cry. Sometimes they do sometimes they need a hand, warming up and a frisk rub normally makes them shout at me. Every parent knows that moment, that feeling, I feel it too!

Cutting the cord is also an exciting moment sometimes, Dad or the birthing partner does this fab task or on other occasions I get the honour! Then all is left to say is 'Happy Birthday' little one.

I've delivered, caught whatever way you want to put it 15 little special people so far, it doesn't matter how many, everyone is so special in their own little way and I will always cherish in the bottom of my heart each and every one and their fantastic parents who allow me to be a part of their precious private journey.

So there you are. that's my skill....I wish I could share much more. I will try to this year, as much as I can without treading on people's precious dreams and most private moments.

It's my birthday

Well not mine...but the blogs. I can't believe that it was this time last year that I stumbled across blogs during the Christmas holiday's and here I am still tapping away, granted not as much as I intented to but I try my best..... happy birthday virtual diary x

Happy New Year

Another year is nearly over, sending everyone love and best wishes for the next... hope all your dreams and wishes come true.

This high tech world

I was sat here last night thinking about all the high tec items we have in this house, I'm sure it's the same in yours too...ipods, blackberry's, computer, wii, DS, sky + I could go on and on but I'm sure you get the pictures. It's shocking when you think about all the things we think as 'normal' to have these days.... kids are growing up thinking this is normal, and in a way I suppose it is for them, culture is evolving, things are advancing but is it at the sake of the simple pleasures in life? Are we loosing the art of communicating? Here I am sitting typing my blog in no-man's land or virtual land.... this would have been my diary when I was little, although thankfully I'm not telling one and all about how I think what's his name from down the road is the cutest boy in school, or that I'm going to marry a prince or about my dodgy big head perm.....yes I was an 80's child! You get my drift though. I hardly put pen to paper unless I'm doing an essay, I loved writing sets, stickers, smelly rubbers and anything with a sparkle when I was a child. I'd write and write for hours, now it's all txts on mobile phones or a Christmas wish on 'facebook'....do you do facebook? Another addiction!! Actually, I tell a lie as I did send Christmas cards but I notice it's not as poular as it used to be...maybe we are more environmentally friendly? Maybe not?

For Christmas this year, like many, father christmas brought board games for the kids...last night the kids asked if they could play 'guess who'...I LOVED this game when I was little. I was an only child growing up and would make my Dad play over and over and over and over....you get the idea 'please Dad, one more go' and I'd be on repeat all night!

I wasn't sure how the kids would get on, Keisha is four and has just started school, I didn't think she'd grasp the idea or thought that it would all end up in tears....how wrong was I!! She totally got it, managed to ask the questions and was aware of who she should flip down on the board, fantastic...Mummy even joined in too!

Later I sat down to read Country Living and there is a fantastic article about loosing our British Weekends, it certainly hit home with me....everything I had been thinking earlier in the day was staring back at me from the pages of a magazine!! Take a look at it if you get the chance.

I think we will definately try to reclaim our weekends whenever we can.

What is the time again?

Don't you hate it when you can't sleep....or should I rephrase that, don't you hate it when other people stop you from sleeping well! It's just gone 5am and I find myself sat here at the computer in my front room. It's really peaceful.... apart from snoring somewhere now, in the distance, hence I can't sleep! Despite that it is peaceful and calm, everything seems still. I don't get to feel this much, with everything being so hectic around here. Although I am groggy and really could do with sleep, it feels good. The cat must be feeling the same as she has followed me down too.

I think even the photos show how calm it is around here. I know it won't be like it for long, I can already hear the local shop having its newspaper delivery....before long the lorries will be here. That's what you get for living in a house that backs onto the car park of the local shops! I could go all Bridgette Jones here and drift off.... pretend I live in the country, in a cottage, classic, quaint and full of charm, warm, cosy and inviting. The shop is owned independently, small but perfectly formed, taking delivery from a local producer. See told you I could dream....I think it's good to be able to take yourself somewhere else once in a while, can you tell I was an only child growing up, a lot of self entertaining had to be done!

Talking about entertaining myself, I did that alright yesterday! After going round the house taking inspiration from the things I do like, I decided to look in my many hiding places. You see, I've been collecting for my....in preperation house (sounds better than half done, so I'm sticking with that!) I have many hiding places, or storage places....under my bed, in my cupboard, the airing cupboard, for all the treasures I have brought ready for when the house is redecorated and ready for the finishing touches.

We've been having a post Christmas clear out, as you do, getting ready for car boot season. My intention was to tidy and then put everything in one place. But then a light bulb clicked....or should we say my brain went into overtime! Why not just have a change, out with the old in with my treasures and the decorating can be done as and when we have the money! What a great idea....so instead of looking round and not liking what I see, I look and see a vision of what can be! Fantastic! I have had my eye on some lovely Laura Ashley wallpaper for ages now and it has gone on sale, I only need three rolls for the wall so I have told hubby I am going to splash out, under forty quid now that isn't bad! Like everyone else money is tight right now and every penny counts....that could be nearly a food shop, but hey it's student loan time in January, I think I could stretch to that.

The peace and quiet is officially broken....my nextdoor neighbours are up, nothing like living in a terraced house, it's like living in the same house!

Anyway I will take pictures of my hidden treasures and post later when everyone is awake....for now I'll finish off with the last of my favourite things from around the house.